Confusion and Questions

Friday 28,April,  2017
Sometimes I am deeply confused with my life. What are they planning for me and planning on me. At this stage I want to ask my family two questions. One : On what basis they are wasting money on me,on my education. What are planning for my future. The answer us me. It was always me.But why they hid myself. I think they are planning on something self realizing. They think I am going to mature into the thought that I have to make my own way own rules.Then everything would go well. I am astonished why they didn't say that to me a little earlier.
Another question is : What is that least one plan that they successfuly executed through me. They feed me with a lot of false hope( actually not entirely false). First they tuned my mind for the 5th grade scholar.  Then for the 8th. And then for the S.S.C and then University......
I thought for stopping this. And then I started searching for a consequence. What is the end of it. We all read this thing whole life that, " Life is not a bed of roses". I knew that life will get shitty while time passes. With pain comes the pleasure. Then why make the pain sorrowfull when it is already painfull.
Anyway I stopped eating their hopes..The dreams...when I was at 9.
Then I tried to execute my own plans.And they blocked them too.... Why because they think I can earn when I have a good degree. But there is the thing. A line of Engineering is not much streight. If we don't have experience we can't do anything.
And still they make me enter inside EEE while I wanted to get inside CSE. They just interfered with another potential ability of mine. I really never wanted to get afmitted into a private university. Why? Thousands reasons. In fact I was about to get inside national college. Living a life full of complexity is better that wasting money. I thought that first.  But then I found that is good for my peace(getting admitted in a prvt versty). But then the pain came.
Anyway I am fighting with my pain. My freelancing job is compromised badly. I can't find a tution.I can't find a work. I can't talk with people even if I wanted to. I am all alone. Sometimes I think my inner self is dumb an it can't talk. Hehehe..... Maybe that is why I like to write so much. I like chatting through facebook.